An Overwhelming Heartache, An Overwhelming Peace

My heart is heavy today.

I am a member of many Facebook pages for kids with cancer or diseases. Kids who are fighting for life, who need prayers and support.

I do this (I'm sure my husband would say because I hate myself) because when I was carrying Aidan it helped so much to know that people cared and were praying for him. For us. I like these pages and comment on their posts as a way of "paying it forward".

But sometimes it's overwhelming.

Today in my news feed I read so many heart wrenching things. Multiple kids being taken home on hospice because their cancer has eaten away at their body until there is nothing anyone can do. Posts from their Mother saying "I can't imagine my life without her. What am I going to do when she's gone?" Multiple posts about families needing assistance from NILMDTS which means all of those families have lost a baby. Pleas for help from families to make donations to their GoFundMe account so that they can afford to cremate or bury their baby.

Some days it's soul crushing.

Innocent children shouldn't have to go through this kind of hell on earth. Their mothers shouldn't have to sit helpless watching their babies struggle in pain not understanding why this is happening to them reaching out to their mothers to help them, to make the pain stop.

It makes me scream WHERE ARE YOU GOD?!

And all I can do is pray. I pray for the children and their families. To heal their hearts and give them peace.

I believe that the calm you feel after the storm; after the unimaginable pain of loss is God wrapping his arms around you. He is who will lead you through the dark days that come after and who will pull you out of the dark "pit" and into the light..... If you let Him.

So when I get overwhelmed with the pain of the world I get down on my knees and I pray that those families, when they are ready, will ask for the overwhelming peace that only He can provide. I pray that they will open themselves up to accepting it and love themselves enough to allow it to wash over them and in time mend their hearts.

God bless those children in hospice and give their parents the peace and calm to get through the days that follow.

Love,
ME

A Loss is a Loss

Andrew and I unexpectedly became pregnant in December of 2014. We were NOT planning and in fact both of us were incredibly surprised and shocked. With two little girls, working full time and a schedule that would rival a touring rock band needless to say time for sex is non-existent. We were shocked but elated. We completely felt God's hand it in and knew this was a baby was a gift.

But I knew something wasn't right. I wasn't getting sick. My breasts weren't tender. I just didn't feel "pregnant". Nonetheless, I trusted God....and the pregnancy tests I would take on almost a daily basis. I kept repeating, "Today I am pregnant, and for that I am thankful."

Then at our 8 week ultrasound my fears were confirmed. Our baby had no heartbeat. The ultrasound technician and even my OB kept saying maybe we had the conception date wrong, not to give up hope. But I knew in my heart our baby was gone. Two days later I started to bleed. Two weeks later I had a follow up ultrasound and most of the baby was gone, but not all. I was given pills to try and "encourage" the expulsion of my child from my uterus. The pills gave me nothing but horrible cramps. I had to have a D&C.

I had no idea what to expect. All I know is I am glad that I was completely knocked out for that procedure. After my doctor explained exactly what they do, all I kept thinking was "abortion, abortion, abortion". And really that is what it is. Except my baby was already gone.

I have to say, this really took be back in my grief. I cried. A lot. At times I felt silly. How can I mourn a baby I never held, didn't name, didn't even know the gender of? But you know what? You can. And I also felt guilt. Guilt because I wasn't 100% excited when we first found out. I wasn't sure how we would handle two so close in age. I was nervous and afraid. I didn't immediately trust God like I know I should have. A part of me felt like not trusting God was what took my baby from me. It's hard not to turn it inward. It's hard to accept loss no matter when it happens and this was no different.

One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. 25%. For me it has been two out of four. And let me be honest and say it SUCKS! It makes me angry and heartbroken. Especially knowing there isn't a way for me to fix it or make it right.

I think that's why I work each year to raise money for children's charities. Why I registered Team Running for Aidan as a Texas non-profit and 501(c)3. I am fighting the helplessness. The out of control. Instead I'm taking control. I'm doing whatever I can so that other parents don't have to say goodbye to their children. I know I'm just one person. But one voice can reach two ears. And those two ears can enact another voice and the message will have reached four ears. And so on creating a chain reaction. Aidan was the first voice and it is my mission to make his message reach the hearts of the world, because we can make a difference. Even if we save just one child, that one child's survival will prevent many hearts from being broken. And that is worth it.

Love, Me. 

Marching with HOPE!!

In 2011 Andrew and I started a March for Babies team called "Team Running for Aidan" in memory of our boy. At the time, when Andrew signed us up randomly, I was newly pregnant with Abbey and was still in the 'pit' of depression. The rawness of losing Aidan was still present and I was incredibly nervous and scared for the new life growing inside me. I still cried daily, maybe a few times a day, and really I was just going through the motions of life. Forcing myself to be happy, forcing myself to joke around, forcing myself to live.

Before the walk I researched a little about what the walk was like, fundraised a little and had T-shirts made for our "Team". Our team consisted of me, Andrew, my mom, my dad and my sister-in-law...and of course our little Abbey-bird growing inside my belly. I remember getting off the bus at White Rock Lake and seeing so many people. I had no idea that this event was so huge. Growing up in Dallas I had heard of several fundraisers and walks such as Susan G. Komen and others but I never knew about this event...I guess you never really know about something until it hits you personally.

As we walked around the area before the walk started I looked around and just couldn't believe all the teams. I read every shirt. Walking in honor of... Walking in memory of... I walk for my daughter...I walk for my son....my niece....my grandson...my granddaughter. Stories of babies being born who only weighed 1 pound. Stories of babies being born with birth defects or other challenges. And of all the stories there are two camps. Those who walk in honor of a baby; because the baby lived. And those who walk in memory. I of course was of the latter. But what I noticed in my 'camp' was that these people, these parents and family members didn't give up after their child was taken. They didn't let what happened destroy them. They took something awful and turned it into something wonderful....they turned it into HOPE. Hope that one day what took their baby will be treatable and curable so that no other parent will have to endure what they did. 

One of my favorite moments was seeing a family of 5; mom, dad, daughter and 2 sons. The kids were in high school and the family was hanging out and talking and smiling with one another waiting for the walk to start. As the dad turned around I noticed his shirt.... "I walk in Memory of Michael ~ June 9, 1992". I remember thinking "Wow! They didn't forget about their son." Even though it had been 19 years since they lost him they continued to remember him. His brothers and sisters who never met him knew of and honored him each and every year. Seeing that family brought me such comfort and I hope that we are able to do the same for Aidan.

Since 2011 our Team has grown and become bigger and bigger. Each year we have raised more and more money for babies and have included more friends and family members. The March for Babies is the highlight of our Spring. Although it is a ton of work, it is SO worth it. 

Our Team in 2012...

Then Last year in 2013 we just blew it out!! I don't know what got into me but I made it my mission to focus my efforts on raising as much money as possible. If you know me you know I am SO not a sales-y person. But for whatever reason for THIS cause, for my Aidan, I had the courage to approach a zillion companies and ask for sponsorship, to host fundraising events, to provide items for raffle and auction, for anything that they could offer I would take it and figure out a way to make money from it. I got a TON of Nos. I mean a ton. Or I was just flat out ignored. But I was determined. My goal was to put us in the Top 5 Teams in Dallas. And I knew that if I worked hard enough that it was a possibility.....

And what was more, my friends and family were doing it with me! They too were asking people for donations, for help with fundraising. I couldn't believe it. I know how asking people for money, even if it is for charity, can make you feel icky and so I was (and am) so grateful for all the 'asks', for posting their link for donations on Facebook and sharing the links and information about our events. 

It was because of all of our Team's hard work AND most importantly because of the generosity of so so many that we were able to raise over $18,000 last year!!

Here is our Team at the Walk....Love them All...

Well, yesterday, Valentine's Day 2014 Andrew and I got a wonderful gift... We were invited to the March for Babies 2014 kick off breakfast and were named Top 2 Family Team in Dallas AND Top 5 Family Team in all of TEXAS!! It was such an incredibly humbling and uplifting day. But, I have to say my favorite part of all of it was hearing my son talked about. I know that may sound strange, but to me the best part was having the MC talk about Aidan, talk about why we walk and our story. Because now all of those people, executives from fortune 500 companies, media from our local FOX station and various radio stations all know his name....and THAT was the best gift of all. :-)

I am so unbelievably grateful to all who helped us last year! To our family and friends and every single person and company whose heart was touched by our story and who gave their hard earned money to such a wonderful organization. 

Now we are in full swing for our campaign for 2014. I don't know how in the world we will be able to top or even match what we did last year, but no matter what I know that I will have an amazing group of people riding along with me because we all know that what we are doing is so worth it! 

With HOPE & LOVE, 

ME

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Hello 2014!!

It's been a year since my last post...and what a YEAR 2013 was for the McCaffrey family.

The BIGGEST and most WONDERFUL event was the birth of our third child and second daughter Ms. Alexandra Claire. She arrived on November 11th at 9:13 a.m. and weighed 7 lbs 6 ounces. She is the most beautiful and sweet baby. She loves to cuddle and smiles and coos; especially at her daddy.

Last Year was also an amazing year for our March for Babies Team. We worked so incredibly hard and managed to make it into the Top 5 Family Teams in Dallas and Top 10 Family Teams in the State of Texas. We were so honored and blessed for each person who joined our team and for each person who gave their hard earned money to such an amazing organization.

The day of the walk was so beautiful. I was so proud of my husband Andrew who carried our sweet Abbey the full 5 miles! I couldn't believe his patience with her that day and when I asked how he managed to do it he said "I would walk to the ends of the earth for our kids." He is such a good daddy.

Abbey has grown from a baby to a little girl in what feels like over night. We love seeing her grow and her personality develop. She has a great sense of humor and is REALLY independent. She has had a bit of an adjustment period with her promotion to Big Sister, but she is doing really well with Allie. She loves to help me change her diapers and feed her and will include her in talking about the family; Like when we say "Let's go to the store". She'll respond "Okay, and baby Allie-cat too?". She's even warming up to 'sharing' with her baby sister which is TRUELY amazing. :-)

We have been so blessed over the last year and can't wait to see what 2014 will bring!! Wishing everyone an amazing New Year!!

Love,

ME

Is It Really 2013??

Has it really been almost 6 months since my last post? So much has happened but the time has flown by so where do I begin...

Well my precious Abbey-bird turned 1 on September 5th and she gave us a birthday present by taking her first (unassisted) steps that day too. Within a week and a half she was running around. It's like something just clicked like "I think I'll walk today" and off she went. We had a wonderful party for her with a "Wizard of Oz" theme because she is our Rainbow baby. We hired Dorothy to come and entertain and sign for the kids. I think everyone had a good time and it was such a happy day full of love and gratefulness. 

October was lots of fun planning for Halloween. Abbey had two costumes, Minnie Mouse (whom she is absolutely obsessed with) and Dorothy (of course!). She'll point to the TV or hold her stuffed Minnie up and say "Meme" and will dance to the hot dog song at the end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She has become quite verbal in her old age; and she's like a parrot. We have to watch what we say all the time now. ;-)

November was wonderful. We went down to visit Andrew's family in St. Louis for Thanksgiving and then spent Christmas here in Dallas. Abbey got the equivalent of an entire Toys R Us store including an electric Mercedes Benz which she still can't operate on her own yet but she'll say "car, car" then "more more" after she climbs into it....which means that we must push her from one side of the house to the other over and over again! LOL.

Miss thing has also entered the terrible twos....a full nine months early! She'll throw herself on the floor and scream and cry if she doesn't get her way. She'll look you in the eyes as she repeatedly does something that she has already been called down about. She is an absolute mess....and I love every bit of her! I love that she has attitude (or Abbey-tude as we call it). I love that she knows what she wants and lets you know it. I hope that she always has that fight, that drive, because you never know what life will throw your way and its that fight that makes a survivor. 

This Christmas was a little bit easier than last year, although I would be lying if I said I didn't think about Aidan every single day and wish he was here with us. We weren't able to visit him on Christmas day because it snowed and iced that day, but we were able to visit him on New Years. His grave as well as all of his friends graves were decorated for Christmas. It's really sweet to see that the Moms and Dads are still remembering their babies....especially the ones who have been gone for several years. It boggles my mind to know that there are so many people who have lost babies that pretend they were never born. I just don't get that at all. How can you push down that kind of hurt? How can you pretend that your child (your flesh) never existed? How can you turn your back on your child like that? I don't think I'll ever understand that. 

Andrew and I between Christmas and New Years (27th - 31st) went to Napa Valley, CA. It was AMAZING!! I now know where I want to retire. We missed our girl terribly (even though she was in good hands with Mimi and Poppi in Dallas) but had an amazing time full of good food and good wine. 

I am looking forward to 2013 to see what it may bring. 2012 was very good to our family. Or perhaps I am just so grateful for everyday that I have with my family that the little annoyances of life just don't seem to matter? Either way, I am excited to find out what 2013 has in store for our family; and I know that good or bad God will be with us we'll get through it, together.

Happy 2013 Everyone!

Love, Me. 

Happy 2nd Birthday Aidan

Before I started this post, I looked at my blog at the little ticker to the right that tracks how long it has been since Aidan and I "said goodbye".... 2  years. How has it been that long? I feel like I just held him. I still remember his baby soft skin and his weight. I loved how chubby he was. How he smelled. How truly beautiful. 

Sometimes when I look back on the pictures of him, of us, it's like I'm looking back remembering someone else's life. I know it happened to me, I feel the emptiness that Aidan left behind in my heart everyday, but some days it's almost unbelievable. I guess that is just my mind trying to numb the pain that quite frankly if I felt all the time I don't think I would be able to function.

I thought the second year would be easier than the first. I don't think it is. Maybe it's because as time moves it pulls me further and further away from the wonderful moment I held him. Maybe it's because since we have Abbey I now really KNOW all that I missed out on with him. Maybe it's because that first year I was in a fog of grief, worry and hope over our pregnancy with our rainbow Abbey and possibly just the "fog" that your mind forces over you when you hurt that much for nothing more than self-preservation. All I know is this year, on what would be Aidan's 2nd Birthday...it is not easier. Not for me. 

This year we organized another Random Act of Kindness Day in honor of Aidan. Last year we had 188 participate, this year we had 375. Some posted what they did on the event page. It was so wonderful seeing so many good works and acts done in memory of Aidan. I am so thankful to so many. The response this year was overwhelming. Perhaps it is that Aidan's story has touched their heart, perhaps it is that now more than ever we recognize that this world is in desperate need of kindness and love or perhaps it is God working through Aidan to, in small ways, heal the world in which we live. Whatever it was that moved so many to do these good works, I am so eternally grateful. Below are just a few of the posts that were on Aidan's Act of Kindness Day event page:

In honor of Aidan, we are donating clothes and toys to a local women's shelter. Happy Birthday Aidan!

Just as I told XXX that I was worried I wouldn't have an opportunity for RAOK, a sweaty man approached me. He showed me his veterans card, and explained he had been out of work and just got a job. He had a flat tire and car was stuck causing traffic jam. Needed $$ for a tow or change. I dunno. He could have been scheming me. He asked for $15 bucks. It was such a small amount I decided to take him at his word and give him all the cash I had.

I am spending my night volunteering to set up for a large community event tomorrow. Happy Birthday sweet boy fly high!!!

My kiddo and I bought the car behind us food in the drive through and made sure to tell the lady at the window that it is act of kindness day and to pay it forward. I felt so good making someone smile. Thank u Aidan!

Connor, my mom and I are about to head to the store to pick up DVDs and stuffed animals to donate to the patients at Children's Hospital at Medical City. It has been a great chance to talk to Connor about doing for others without expecting something in return. We will be thinking of you today, Aidan. You may have been tiny but you left a big impression on this world.

Just returned from Presbyterian Plano Labor and Delivery delivered two dozen cupcakes to the awesome nurses who comfort and care for the born and unborn. For the love of Aidan

Aidan, today lots of strangers got lattes at Starbucks in your honor! Also, the kiddos at the Dallas Children's Advocacy Center got a donation in your name! Happy Birthday Kiddo!

Today I brought in a danish for a co-worker, gummy bears for a friend to cheer her up, and helped an elderly woman with her medical bill.

The Talbott kido's just took 3 large bags full of children's clothes, books and toys and donated them to The Cancer Federation. By the end of the day Ben and I plan to treat a stranger to a gift from us. Happy Birthday, Aidan! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration in so many peoples lives♥

Our RAOK today was to pay for the two cars behind us in the drive-thru. I also had the cashier give them the note above so they understood why. About 10mins later, after driving across the city to run errands, one of the trucks caught up to us, honked, held up the note and said a BIG THANK-YOU! Sweet Aidan's life is putting a smile on so many ppl's faces today!

Today I helped out a homeless person on the side of the road with a cold bottle of water, a granola bar, a couple clean t-shirts. He was more than happy to receive this handout.

Today turned out to be more crazy than I anticipated, so I donate money in Aidan's name to 2 amazing causes - Bake A Wish Austin (they deliver bday cakes to kids in shelters) and to Team Holden (a very sweet family, like y'all, who just lost their son recently) - http://weheartholden.wordpress.com/. Happy Birthday Angel Aidan!

A backpack, school supplies, and a case of diapers will be dropped off at North Kent Community Services this afternoon in honor of sweet baby Aiden. NKCS helps local families in need of food and clothing and are currently collecting backpacks and school supplies to distribute to local children in need for the upcoming school year.

In memory of Aidan, we are donating clothes, toys, and blankets for the children at a local women's shelter. The women's shelter aids women and children who are victims of domestic abuse. We are also making a donation to Rainbow Kitchen which provides nutrition for low income children, families, disabled, and elderly. 
Happy birthday sweet Aidan! Your life is making a huge impact for people everywhere. ♥

Today I woke up with a smile thinking of sweet Aidan. In his honor today, I bought coffee for the car behind me in the drive thru, I took cookies and a thank you balloon to the downtown Dallas fire station, I took my assistant to lunch, and made a donation to March Of Dimes in Aidan's memory. Much Love!

Unsure what to do in memory of Aidan, but the best opportunity was presented to me. I was in Wal-Mart behind a woman obviously distressed when she didn't have enough money to pay for her groceries. The cashier was rather rude and threw the 6 or 7 items in a buggy as the women quietly walked out with her limited items. I didn't say anything, removed them from the buggy, paid for them, and caught the women just as she was leaving. She was with a elderly woman and both of them started crying when I handed them the two sacks. It was only around $10.00, but what a blessing my heart received from doing a good deed. Thank you, Aidan, for helping me think about my many blessings!

Last night I made several crosses, (2 stepping stones and 2 hand-painted wooden crosses) and plan to make more to donate to Maegan and John Ormesher's adoption fund. Two wonderful, loving people who will be amazing parents to a very lucky baby! Hoping to raise at least $100 for their cause: http://ormesherfamilyexpansion.blogspot.com/

I just mailed a check in honor of Aidan to a fund for Rosalie Goodwin, age 3, who nearly drowned 2 months ago in Owasso. Thank you for allowing us to share in Aidan's Act of Kindness Day.

Happy Birthday Aidan. In honor of you I came into work early and cleaned up the neighbors property because their home was crashed into by a careless driver a week or two ago, and they are both elderly and ill so they havent been able to get up all the little pieces of glass and debris. May God Bless your mom and dad and hold you safely in his arms sweet boy.

This morning I made a donation in Aidan's name to ManeGait Therapeutic Horesmanship, a non-profit in Collin County that helps children and adults with disabilities improve their lives.
Happy Birthday Aidan! Thank you for sharing your story and making a difference in the lives of so many!

Happy 2nd Birthday Aidan! I am taking goodies to the optomology surgery center where Emme had her eye surgery as the nurses were so awesome to her! They even dressed her little cat up like a nurse..you would have thought it was so funny! I would never have thought of doing this Aidan if it werent't for you! I love you...

Happy 2nd Birthday Aidan. A little girl named Riley who is 1 is getting a box filled with books,toys,movies and stuffed animals. She only owns 3 toys and lives in Fort Braggs NC....sent in dedication of Baby Aidan. I gave my son an extra kiss on the cheek for you.

I met Amanda on BBC and learned of Aidan's story since we both had the unfortunate loss of our children. I think this is a wonderful way to keep his memory alive! Happy Birthday to you sweet little boy. In memory of you today I made bread to give to a neighbor who lost his wife a few weeks back. I'm sure, as we know, not soon after someone we love passes, the cards and visits stop ... I'm hoping to make his day with a visit. I am also making a donation today to a St Judes Childrens Hospital "putt for life" here in my home town. It's a memorial mini golf outing in near my home for a child that passed away from cancer years back. We participate each year and will do so in Aidans name this weekend. May today be peaceful on you all as you celebrate your little boy.

A man came through the drive through at the Starbucks where I work and in our brief conversation I learned that his 12 year old daughter Mandy was battling leukemia and she was starting to lose her hair. I asked for their address and a few other questions. Her favorite animal is zebra and her favorite color is purple so tomorrow on Aiden's birthday I will be finishing her Zebra striped crochet hat with a purple trim. I will try to post a photo when I finish.

Went to visit Owens grave today, and as I looked around I noticed a grave that wasnt being tended to at all. On Aidans birthday, I am waking up early, bringing all my gardening supplies and pulling all weeds, unnecessary leaves off this mans grave. Making it look beautiful just like my Owen's grave. For the love Of Aidan. Happy Birthday in Heaven.

Volunteered at Childrens Medical Center today in the playroom. Played fuseball, Xbox, dolls, cars, tools and painted with some pretty special kids. Brightened their day and mine!

In memory of Aidan i made lunch for my office, ran their errands, and helped a friend with an IRS problem. Tommorrow im taking the local policemen to breakfast and sending pizza to the local L/D floor for the nurses. May Aidan's star shine bright.

I gave formula we couldn't use to another BBC mom and drove it to her work so she wouldn't have to go out of her way. Also, bought lunch for the person behind us in line. She asked about Aidan and said that she would pay it forward in memory of him (she also hugged me).

I stayed up very late to process images for an angel family to get them in the mail today so that they would arrive in time for their funeral this weekend :).

I bought a car wash for the person behind me at a USMC fund-raiser car wash. Happy Birthday sweet Aidan! Hard to believe it's been two years.

Just wanted to share that I cleaned my Neighbors house while I was there to feed their cat when they were on vacation this week and did it all in memory of your little angel boy!! Hugs

Sunday we took our boat out and was on the lake for all of 5 minutes and there was a stranded boat that another boat near us passed by them. We stopped to help the- they ran out of gas needed to be taken to nearest gas tank but really wanted to be taken back to their dock. Tom decided to take them to their dock. As we were driving it started storming we got them across the lake and they wanted to pay us for the gas we used and I asked them to please do this for someone else that is all the payment we wanted and as we were leaving I looked up in the sky and there was a full rainbow in the midst of the dark clouds. I looked up and said this is for you aiden this is for you. The rainbow lasted about 2 minutes and it never showed again. God is amazing!

Isn't that AMAZING!?! And that is not even all of them! I truly am so thankful and blessed to have so many doing so much....all because of a little boy named Aidan. 

It's days like this that I am reminded of two Bible versus:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan." Ephesians 1:11

I believe that God chose Andrew and me to be Aidan's parents. And although He couldn't stop what would happen to Aidan, He used his death to bring love into the world. God can take something ugly and awful and turn it into something wonderful and He used Aidan's death to do just that. In the two years since his death we have raised over $8,000 for the March of Dimes in Aidan's memory. He has moved others to do random acts of kindness like that mentioned above, to donate to various charities, to appreciate their children more, their husbands and wives and to generally be kinder. Life is such a precious fragile thing and everyday that we are given on this earth is a gift....and Aidan has taught us not to waste it. 

Today baby boy you would be two years old and would be running around opening lots of gifts like toy cars and trucks, dinosaur toys, t-ball sets and legos. But instead on your 2nd Birthday YOU gave the world gifts...You gave the world kindness and love. When I was carrying you you made people call out to God in prayer, to be thankful for their blessings and you brought people closer to Him...and in doing that you changed the world...and now two years after your death you are still changing it, one heart at a time. Aidan, I am so thankful that God sent you to me, I am so proud to be your mother and I can't wait to hold you in my arms again. Happy Birthday precious son. I love you and miss you until we are united again. 

For the Love of Aidan

Love, Me

P.S. For Aidan's 2nd Birthday my best friend Bobbi updated Aidan's video...It is so beautiful. I'll love and treasure it always. Aidan's Video

Happy Easter!

Hello,

I can't believe it is April already and Easter is this weekend...and my baby girl...my rainbow is 7 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!!

It seems like yesterday when the Dr's put that sweet girl in my arms. She is such a joy to Andrew and I and I am so thankful for every day that we are together.

We went to the Dr the other day for one of our millionth trips to diagnose yet another ear infection and found out she weighs 18lbs 3 oz! Which seems huge to me, but she really is just a healthy little chunky baby. I love her rolls and I weep for the day that she is long and lean and no longer my baby but a little girl. The past few days I have been putting away her baby clothes (0-6mos) and it makes me sad to see her grow so fast. It's good of course to see her growing and thriving...but I wish she could stay my baby forever...I've already decided I'm moving in with her when she goes to college so I hope she picks a school in a fun city. :-)

This weekend I made a bow holder for her. Another one actually, because her current one just can't take another bow! I think I did a pretty good job!

It's amazing that I actually had time to do this since I work full time and take care of my baby too. I'm just glad miss Abbey goes to bed by 7:30 otherwise I would never be able to make fun stuff like this!

Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go home and pack for our trip to St. Louis. We are visiting Andrew's family and are going on a plane...Abbey's first plane trip! I know she is so excited ;-).

Happy Easter Everyone!! He is RISEN!!

Love, ME.