We had an induction scheduled for September 8th, but I started having contractions at around 8:30 a.m. on Labor Day. I kept thinking and hoping actually that it was false labor as I had planned on taking a few days off before the induction to relax...but miss Abbey had other plans. After laboring for several hours her big ole head just was not going to be able come come out the old fashioned way and her heartbeat started to drop. Finally we rushed in for an emergency C-section and out she came screaming at the top of her lungs and beautifully pink and chubby. She was born at 4:15pm, 8lbs 5oz and 18.5 inches long....and she was perfect!
I am so in love with this little girl I can't tell you. She makes getting up in the morning easier, her cries don't bother me, who cares about dirty diapers or thousands of bottles to clean...I love everything about her and am so blessed to have her in my life.
I'm starting back to work on Monday (December 5th)...and I am dreading it. Mostly because she will start daycare and a complete stranger will be taking my place. Someone else will be getting those smiles, those coos. Someone else will be holding her when she cries. Someone else will get the first steps, the first words...and I hate that. I love my job, I do, but I love her more. I wish there was a way to do both, but there isn't. I know this is the plight of every working mother, and I'm certainly not the first to have these feelings, but none the less. It hurts.
The lady who will be watching her is very capable and I know will take good care of her...it just stinks that it won't be me.
We just got back from visiting Andrew's parents/family up in St. Louis for Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful time and was so glad that Abbey got to meet everyone....but even in the midst of all the happiness over Abbey...in the pit of my stomach was the gnawing that something wasn't right...something was missing....and it was Aidan. I guess that will never go away...especially around the holidays. I kept thinking that she and her brother should be playing together, that Aidan should be playing with his cousin Shields as they would have been only 3 months apart. I hate that he is gone.
We have adopted a little boy from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. His name is David. He is 1 year old. We adopted this boy in honor of Aidan, as Aidan would have been 1 year this Christmas and we are planning to adopt a child the age Aidan would have been in the Christmases to come. I want this little boy to get the Christmas that he deserves...a Christmas as good as I would have made for Aidan.
I can't believe that it will be December in a few days. Time certainly moves quickly. We have planned Abbey's baptism for this Sunday and the whole family (including several members from my husband's family in St. Louis) will be there to celebrate. Abbey will be wearing the McCaffrey family christening gown which dates back to the Civil War. She will wear this to the baptism and immediately after at the reception at my parents house Abbey will be wearing a christening gown identical to the one Aidan was buried in. My mom had a beautiful christening gown made for Aidan in Ireland, ivory silk trimmed in blue. When she found out we were having Abbey she contacted the company from which she had ordered Aidan's gown in order to request one for Abbey, but the company had gone out of business. Well, she contacted the dress maker directly and spoke to her, telling her about Aidan, all we had been through and about Abbey. She agreed to make one more gown....one for Abbey. It looks just like her brothers, but instead of being trimmed in blue, it is trimmed in pink. I am so excited for my sweet girl and her big day.
I can't believe that I have been home for 3 months, that my baby girl is already (or will be in less than a week) 3 months old. I don't want her to get big. I want her to stay a baby forever. :-(
Well Ms Abbey has decided to get up from her nap and is requesting a ba ba (bottle)...Oh how I love this girl!
