Yesterday was Christmas. It was a about as good as it could have been. I woke up early around 7:30 (I just can't sleep anymore and always wake up early even when I don't have to) got cleaned up and went and visited Aidan. We took Willie with us and dressed him in his Christmas sweater (yes, I am one of those people who puts clothes on their dogs; Willie is my only living child so whatever). He looked so cute. We brought a book with us called "You are my miracle" and read it to Aidan. It was very very cold yesterday and the wind was blowing fairly hard. The oak tree above Aidan's grave was practically bald from losing all of its leaves; leaves which no one cleans up, so I was constantly brushing off and pulling out leaves from Aidan's Christmas Arrangement. I also try and clean up the other kids' graves that are around him, I know they would do the same for Aidan. It seemed so strange to be at a cemetery on Christmas, but that is my life now. Other people on Christmas get up early make coffee and watch their children open up their gifts...I go to the cemetery and visit my son.
This was the first time that Andrew and I have brought Willie to visit Aidan and if other people had been there we wouldn't have actually taken Willie out of the car, but since no one was there and it was Christmas my sweet Willie joined us at Aidan's grave. This was the first time my entire family was together since July when Aidan was in my belly. I know Willie would have loved Aidan. He is such a gentle dog and doesn't mind it when the neighbor kids pull his ears; he just licks their faces and hands and will let them rub and love on him as much as they want. I know that Willie would have been the same with Aidan and once he would start to eat solid food, he would have been Aidan's best friend! :-) Willie is such a mooch and loves all people food (except for Asparagus and Spinach) so I know he would have been stationed under his highchair eating all the cheerios or other foods falling to the floor and would be jumping (literally) at the chance to lick Aidan's food filled face before I could wipe it. Not only did Andrew and I lose out on memories....but Willie did too.
We walked Willie to the back of Lullaby Land where Aidan is and as soon as we got there Willie went straight to Aidan's headstone and started licking and sniffing it. He passed by all the other head stones and went straight to Aidan's. It was as if he knew that his brother was there. I immediately started bawling and so did Andrew. We held Willie and talked to Aidan and read him his story. We told him how much we missed him and how this Christmas was supposed to be different. We told him how much we loved him and how we wished we could be together. How much his Mimi and Poppy miss him and love him and that we hope his Christmas in heaven is wonderful.....It was heartbreaking to be there, but it was wonderful because my whole family was there....together on Christmas.
We then piled back in the car and went home to open gifts. Santa Paws came for Willie (that's the Santa for dogs) and he brought him some bones shaped like candy canes, a new Christmas sweater, 2 new babies (stuffed reindeer that squeak) and some doggie cookies. He was very excited. Andrew got a new XBox 360 with Kinect from my mom and I bought him some games to go with it. He bought me Band Hero and a dance game and we spent the morning playing with our new toys....Yes, we are in our 30's...don't judge.
Finally around 1:00 we put away our new toys and started getting dinner ready. We hosted Christmas dinner this year for my parents and my uncle. My brother and his wife couldn't make it because my sister in law works retail and had to work the day before and the day after Christmas and they live in Oklahoma. It really sucked not having them here....especially since I made enough food for 10 people....I just don't know how to cook for a small number. This was our menu below...
Appetizers
Crab Cakes
Raspberry Chipotle Cheese Dip
Mushroom Whatnots
Chile Cheese Squares
Jarlsberg Bacon Dip
Main
Ham
Grilled Asparagus
Grilled Vegetable Salad with Bacon
Green Bean Casserole
Potato Casserole
Rolls
Dessert
Assorted Homemade Cookies/Candies
Chocolate Mousse
Coffee
Regular
Holiday Coffee (Baileys and Tuaca)
I think I have about 20 pounds of leftovers in my garage refrigerator, but everything turned out wonderful!
We cooked and created all day, then we ate, drank and watched two classic Christmas movies with my family, Christmas Vacation and Bad Santa. Finally when everyone was stuffed to the gills my parents and uncle went home and it was just Andrew, Willie and Me. We cuddled up on the couch with some wine and a movie and with the quiet filling our house I fell asleep. It was a good Christmas....as good as it could have been without my Aidan.
Love, Me.
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