Friday, May 1, 2015

An Overwhelming Heartache, An Overwhelming Peace

My heart is heavy today.

I am a member of many Facebook pages for kids with cancer or diseases. Kids who are fighting for life, who need prayers and support.

I do this (I'm sure my husband would say because I hate myself) because when I was carrying Aidan it helped so much to know that people cared and were praying for him. For us. I like these pages and comment on their posts as a way of "paying it forward".

But sometimes it's overwhelming.

Today in my news feed I read so many heart wrenching things. Multiple kids being taken home on hospice because their cancer has eaten away at their body until there is nothing anyone can do. Posts from their Mother saying "I can't imagine my life without her. What am I going to do when she's gone?" Multiple posts about families needing assistance from NILMDTS which means all of those families have lost a baby. Pleas for help from families to make donations to their GoFundMe account so that they can afford to cremate or bury their baby.

Some days it's soul crushing.

Innocent children shouldn't have to go through this kind of hell on earth. Their mothers shouldn't have to sit helpless watching their babies struggle in pain not understanding why this is happening to them reaching out to their mothers to help them, to make the pain stop.

It makes me scream WHERE ARE YOU GOD?!

And all I can do is pray. I pray for the children and their families. To heal their hearts and give them peace.

I believe that the calm you feel after the storm; after the unimaginable pain of loss is God wrapping his arms around you. He is who will lead you through the dark days that come after and who will pull you out of the dark "pit" and into the light..... If you let Him.

So when I get overwhelmed with the pain of the world I get down on my knees and I pray that those families, when they are ready, will ask for the overwhelming peace that only He can provide. I pray that they will open themselves up to accepting it and love themselves enough to allow it to wash over them and in time mend their hearts.

God bless those children in hospice and give their parents the peace and calm to get through the days that follow.


1 comment:

  1. I am a stranger but started reading your blog when you lost Aidan. I still think about you all and enjoy checking on your family. Your girls are precious. Just wanted you to know that Aidan touched me in Texas.