Aidan's Eulogy from His Mommy

This is what I read at Aidan's funeral on August 2, 2010. He was there with me that day giving me strength. I love you so much my son. I miss you every day.

"Aidan’s Memorial from His Mommy

First I want to thank everyone for coming to celebrate the life of my son Aidan. Although his time on this earth was short, he was loved and cherished every day that we had him.

Aidan lived for 8 months and 1 day, and during that time he brought so much joy to me and Andrew and our families. He made me laugh so much during the time he was with us. He was such a little wiggle worm. I remember the first time I felt him move. I was around 17 weeks and sitting at my desk at work. I remember feeling a little flutter on my right side. It sort of caught me off guard. It was definitely something I had never felt before but I of course immediately dismissed it as gas…which thanks to the spicy food my little Aidan was craving was something I was experiencing quite a bit. But then later when I got in my car to go home that day I felt it again…It felt like butterflies, this wasn’t gas it was him moving around inside me; I immediately stopped everything I was doing, put my hand on my belly and said…I love you too buddy.

From that point on I was hooked, I had fallen in love. A love that I can’t possibly describe. As the weeks went on his flutters turned to full on kicks. I remember lying on my back and watching him dance in my belly. And the more he kicked the more I discovered his little personality. He loved ice cream and pretty much anything with sugar or chocolate. He loved lemonade and cold water. He loved Indian food and Mexican…the spicier the better. He loved peanut butter and M&M’s on wheat thins. He didn’t like it when I rested anything on my tummy because it invaded his space. He loved to hear the sound of my voice and seemed to kick and move the most when I was in a meeting or a conference call negotiating with a supplier as if to say, “Get ‘Em Mommy!”. He loved all kinds of music but his favorites were jazz and rock and roll. He loved the sound of his Daddy’s voice. Every night Andrew would read Aidan a bed time story, usually Curious George which is daddy’s favorite, and when he was done we would all pray together while Andrew put his hand on my belly. Aidan would then give a big kick or wiggle as if to say…Goodnight Daddy, I love you!

After we were informed of Aidan’s diagnosis we were determined to make the most out of every moment we had with him. Those days are so special to me. We talked to him about everything. We told him how mommy and daddy met, about his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and his brother Willie. We told him what swimming felt like, what snow was like, how to make chocolate chip cookies and how important it was to separate the lights from the darks when doing laundry. We talked about every little aspect of life, a life we knew he would never get to live. Andrew and I would rub my belly and sing to him often. We would dance together and sway to the music. We took a family trip together down to Houston to go to a Cardinals game and to Galveston to see the beach. He loved the baseball game, when the crowd cheered so did Aidan, kicking and wiggling away. He was his father’s son.

My Aidan was not only sweet and playful he also had a sense of humor and a stubborn streak! The name Aidan means little fiery one and my boy definitely lived up to his name! If ever anyone, Andrew or my Parents would try and feel him kick or make him kick on command he wouldn’t…not until they moved their hands away, then boom he would give a big one. He made me laugh so much. He was headstrong like his mommy even in the womb. No one was going to tell him what to do, not even when he was going to be born. You know contractions start because the baby decides when it is going to come by sending out a chemical into the mother’s womb and I think he must have heard Andrew and me and the doctors discussing when and how to give birth to Aidan, because as a shock to us all he came early and with a vengeance! Aidan was going to come into this world on his terms and no one else’s. He had such spunk and fight, I am so proud to be his mother.

Aidan chose July 27^th, a Tuesday to come into this world. He was born at 3:40 p.m. weighing 5lbs and 1oz and measuring 17 inches long. He fought as long as his little body would let him, but eventually passed away during the last hours of labor. He was so beautiful. He was exactly Andrew and me. He had Andrew’s eyes and eyebrows, his long body and long legs, his big flat feet and beautiful skin. Just like me he had a full head of dark hair, an overbite and a callus on his left thumb, just like his mommy he sucked his thumb in the womb. He also had my toes, with the second toe on his right foot longer than his big toe. And he had his Poppy’s nose. He was the most perfect thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I will never forget the way I felt when Andrew placed him in my arms.  It was amazing. I wasn’t just holding my son, I was holding a piece of heaven.

We held our Aidan for 7 wonderful hours. We kissed him and sang to him. We prayed with him and Andrew baptized him. We bathed and diapered him and put baby lotion all over his soft skin. We dressed him and swaddled him. I can still feel the weight of him in my arms. He was made for my arms, he fit so perfectly. I kissed his sweet skin and rubbed his little head; he had the softest most beautiful hair and the most adorable full lips. The moment he was placed in my arms I fell in love. I never knew that I could love anyone or anything as much as I love him. It’s like oxygen. It’s a pure, unconditional, all consuming self-sacrificing kind of love. It’s the love of a mother.

I know that my Aidan is with Jesus. I know he is safe and loved and I know I will see him again. I know that he is happy and perfect and he is looking down on us, watching his mommy and daddy. He will never really be gone, we will always have him in our hearts and in our minds forever. He will always be my son, my first born child, my Aidan. On Tuesday at around 7 pm while we were holding Aidan there were rainbows reported everywhere. A picture of a rainbow was sent to me, a double rainbow was reported above my parents’ house and our nurse reported that she saw a rainbow when she went home that day. She said it was the most beautiful rainbow she had ever seen that you could see every color and it was complete from end to end.

Rainbows are a symbol that God is with us, that he will not forsake us, it's a reminder of God's promise of His mercy and of the covenant that he has with us all. I think Aidan sent that rainbow to us letting us know that he was with our Savior in his kingdom! My sweet precious angel.

As the saying goes “There are no footprints too small as to not leave an imprint on this world”. So it is true with my son Aidan. He touched more lives than I can count. Throughout our journey Andrew and I have received emails, texts and letters from people all over the world telling us that they were praying for us, praying for Aidan. People we have never even met. They were calling out to our Savior in Aidan’s name. My son who never took a breath on this earth did something better and more meaningful than most of us do in our entire lives…he brought people closer to God, he changed the world.

I want to thank all of you for supporting us on our earthly journey with Aidan. I want to thank our family and friends for your love and prayers. But most of all I want to thank you, my precious husband Andrew. Without you I couldn’t make it. You are what gets me through each day. You are my soul mate. You are my rock. I love you.

And finally to my son, Aidan. Thank you for teaching me what real love is. For teaching me how to hope against all odds. For bringing me so close to God that I felt him in my arms, I felt him in you. You are my heart sweet boy. You are all that is good and pure in the world. You are the reason I was made. Being your mother has been the privilege of my life and as long as this life separates us my heart will ache for you. Mommy loves you precious son. “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, forever and always, my baby you’ll be.”

Love, Me.